Is Right Still Wrong?

Not to make anyone uncomfortable, but since this is an underwear blog, it’s time to address “direction.”  A lot of guys have noticed that their junk either hangs to the left or the right, but the question is why?  It doesn’t matter what kind of underwear you prefer, your little buddy will do what’s he used to doing.  (Long ago, when I was getting my ear pierced for the first time, all my friends cautioned me that “right is wrong.”  I actually remember doing an inward sigh of relief since I was actually hanging the right way, if nothing else.)

But seriously … why does a man’s equipment pick a direction?  One would think it that, hanging naturally, it would be right in the middle, but this isn’t the case.  There haven’t been a lot of studies done into the “Why does my pride-and-joy hang to the left?"  (And the answer, as a friend of mine quipped, isn’t “Because it’s a Democrat.”)  According to what I’ve found, the right testicle naturally sits a little higher in most men, so as a result, your d*** will naturally swing to the left.  (There is also some correlation, it seems, in regard to hand-domination: if you’re a southpaw, the left testicle tends to sit higher than the right.)

But back to the “ears” topic – the rule-of-thumb “right is wrong” still applied.  A guy who got his ear pierced had to do it in the left; otherwise, he was “that way.”  Luckily, this question quickly became moot, as more and more celebrities started not only piercing the right ear, but both.  Sailors had always had a penchant for piercing their ears and it really wasn’t until the 1960s that inroads were made in the piercing market.  Punkers in the 1970s started using safety pins, multiple piercings, and do-it-yourself amateur piercings, and the next decade really brought into the male pantheon – musicians, celebrities, and sports legends started getting their ears pierced.

And now, while piercing of the ears has become the norm (as have tattoos), specialized cartilage piercings and stretching using ear gauges are gaining in popularity.

My question, though: is right still wrong?  Since not everyone is the same, I would say, “No,” since there aren’t any hard and fast rules about piercings nowadays and it seems quite random.  In addition to piercing the lobe, you’ve got the helix, the tragus, the conch – all kinds of piercings in different positions in the ear, just as you have different kinds of underwear to choose from – boxers (shudder), boxer briefs, trunks, etc.

One place you want to be sure about the whole “is right wrong?” question is the handkerchief code – and believe me, if you’re not familiar with this, it can go wrong and badly in quite a hurry, depending on where you are.

I’m sure most people, regardless of their orientation, can infer the basics about the handkerchief code.  The color of the bandanna you’re wearing indicates what you’re into – simple and to-the-point.  But the side it’s worn on makes a difference – a big one.  If worn on the belt, belt loop, or in the pocket, the left indicates you’re a top/dominator; the right, a bottom/submissive.  If worn about the neck, the same communication is made with the side on which it’s knotted.  Same thing goes for keys.

Unfortunately, although bandanna codes can be translated with some general intuitiveness, the color-coding isn’t consistent and varies regionally.  Your best bet for regional meanings is buying at a local LGBTQ store, as well as to make some discreet inquiries.  The following list is general in scope, indicating fetish interests that are considered universal:

	Black	S & M
	Dark Blue	Anal Sex
	Light Blue	Oral Sex
	Brown	Scat
	Green	Hustling
	Grey	Bondage
	Orange	Anything, anywhere, anytime, but not necessarily anyone
	Purple	Piercing
	Red	Fisting
	Pink	Toys
	White	Masturbation
	Yellow	Water sports

It seems that, in addition to our normal wardrobe choices, we now have to be conscious of what our bodies are doing and where exactly we are at any given moment.  To sum – men for the most part hang to the left, but there’s no need to rush out and buy right-handed underwear, as everyone can make do with what they have.  Ears require some thought, but not a lot; although dress earrings are usually a mirror image (and for women), men have no restrictions in this regard unless there’s a dress code at work stating the number of visible piercings allowed.  Bandannas definitely require careful planning and execution!  Don’t get caught with your pants down (so to speak) by wearing the wrong color, or else you will find yourself with your pants down and turning the wrong color yourself.

I think it’s safe to say that it’s safer to say “Right is wrong,” and on so many levels, at that.