Back to School (University Teams!)

Another Labor Day has come and gone, and it’s time for all the young-ins to get their butts back to classes and professors, so that they can become useful members of society.

Oh, and so they can join the swim, wrestling, and gymnastics teams.

Nothing says college like sports.  I wasn’t that much of a sports nut in college; I liked to keep in shape, play the occasional game of racquetball with my fraternity brothers (something, by the way, you absolutely positively do not want to do after a night of heavy drinking … following a fluorescent blue ball around a white room is not what I would call a good time), as well as taking a swim in the pool, watching meets and matches, etc.

I’ve pontificated before about fascinations with swimmers, wrestlers and gymnasts, almost as much as I have on underwear and foreign guys.  When it comes to university sports, you can usually wrap all of these topics into one single package with a nice tight bow.  If you’re in the locker room with your buddies, usually you can check out the guy on the next bench, just as easily as you can the gymnast on the rings or the swimmer on the pedestal.  Complete meat market, and you don’t have to buy anything or feel guilty for looking.

Personally, I think more kids should be galvanized toward sports.  I know here in Michigan it’s rare for a kid not to play at least one; since we live in such a small town, it’s not unusual to see the same faces on the soccer, football, basketball and wrestling teams.  Because we host our exchange students, we have an “in” with sporting events, although we don’t go to scope out on high school kids.  (As stated before, I will state again: kids and pederasty aren’t my thing.  I’ll wait until they’re legal and in college, thank you very much.)  We recognize a lot of the student athletes as we move from season to season and team to team.

Last year was particularly busy for us as the two students we had participated in just about everything.  It was literally as if their planes landed from Germany and Hungary and they stepped into the terminal wearing soccer cleats and a wrestling singlet.  They were at practices and meets more than they were home, which for them was great, since they got to socialize and participate in the great experiment that is high school.  This is why all kids should have to join at least one sports team, not just take that one credit of physical education – you get more out of school by having a common goal.

Purists will probably argue that kids should be allowed to pursue their own interests in this regard, and for the most part I agree with them.  I, for example, want my daughter to be in classes that will give her a basic understanding of the necessary skills required for college and adult life.  I don’t want her to be a super genius, and I think a lot of schools nowadays are getting carried away in this regard.  The model to make kids more analytical ends up stressing them out more, and that doesn’t necessarily equate with success in my book.  European teenagers learn how to think in high school; Americans learn how to memorize.  You might think that, as a parent, I would be making sure my daughter is at the head of the line to get into Harvard; that’s an accurate description of any parent.  The only exception is that I know my daughter isn’t capable of Harvard work.

Don’t get me wrong.  She’s smart as a whip, and will argue herself blue to make a point.  Like most teenagers she does best in classes that actually interest her, and this is where American academics disappoint our kids.  They assume that kids will have to be interested in anything that’s presented for teaching and that’s not the case.  So I don’t freak out if she doesn’t have straight “A”s, because I know she’s working within her capabilities.

One thing she doesn’t do, though, is team sports.  (She isn’t exactly what one could call “coordinated.”)  She excels at art and drawing, something she didn’t get from me, and I know that given enough leeway, she’ll grown into high heels, make-up, boys (shudder) and the desire to be part of a team when she gets to college.  All it has to do is interest her, and she’ll be the first one in line for tryouts.

I miss the swim team.  It was a great way to exercise by having fun, and I got to wear a Speedo within a group that accepted it socially.  But believe it or not, the thing I liked most was getting to the pool first thing in the morning and having the smell of chlorine in my nose all day, in spite of showering before and after the pool.  Like most things, though, it lost its luster after a few years and I stopped swimming because I discovered I was better at partying.  I regret it, but I’m happy knowing that I had the complete college experience – half frat guy, half athlete, and half student.

What do you think?  What have your experiences been?  Even if you hung out in the locker rooms just to catch these guys in their undershorts, don’t tell me that wasn’t a sport in itself!  Don't lie to me - who doesn't like a nice, tight Speedo?