It's All in the Mix

I'm glad that underwear manufacturers have come to the realization that cotton isn't the only way to go.  For all that cotton is the "wonder fabric," sometimes it leaves a little bit to be desired.  I, for one, can't wear 100% cotton undershorts.  It doesn't matter that the rest of my wardrobe is made of cotton, for the most part; for my junk, plain cotton just doesn't work.

Guys, in general, don't look at labels.  We don't compare the amount of sodium in Brand A to Brand B - we'll eat it anyway.  We don't try on clothes in the store - if it doesn't fit, we'll return it.  We could care less if something is made of silk or straw - it all goes into the same batch of laundry.  And I used to fall strictly into this category, until underwear became a fashion industry.

When I was old enough to become responsible for buying my own skivvies (there's a cutoff date for every guy, when his Mom decides, "Not going there anymore," - which I believe also roughly corresponds to the first time she catches him masturbating), I did what every student does: I threw the package into the cart without looking at what I was actually buying.  After ruining said skivvies in the laundry, I had to start looking at labels, which required looking at styles.

In the eighties, underwear came in a tube.  You got three of four pairs in different colors, and it was cool.  There was always the guy who would stick with Hanes Y-fronts, or the guy who had to wear silk boxers, but I was the "buy-your-underwear-in-a-tube" guy.  The underwear-in-a-tube has gone the way of the dinosaur, and we now buy our fashion undershorts by the pair - either in a box with a window or on the hanger with those little clips.  (There is an exception to this rule - the almost-like-Hanes-name-brands-that-come-six-to-a-pack, the ones Tom gets because he's frugal.)

It was after a few errors that I learned everything was in the mix and that I had to start checking the labels.  My undershorts have to be a mix of cotton and whatever it is - Lycra, "elastene," other - in order for it to fit properly and feel okay.  All of the major brands have learned this, so it makes it easy, but every once in a while, one sneaks in there that shouldn't be.  Since I love a bargain and wear a small size (in some cases, extra small), I love checking out the bins at Marshall's to see what fashion pairs are available.  You have to be careful, though ... people have the tendency of taking Calvin Kleins and sticking them into Undergear boxes.

So, in addition to getting what you're actually buying, you can't just rely on the box.  You have to check the skivvies themselves to make sure you're getting the mix you need.  It's amazing some of the recipes manufacturers have come up with, but as long as it's a mix, I usually don't have an issue.  And now that I have become spoiled by "The Mix," I can't go back.  I'll be in big trouble if mixes ever go out of style.

To each their own, I guess, except for the "wear-your-pants-around-your-knees" brigade.  Still don't get it, and refuse to.  Long live The Mix!