Rhymes with "Shommando"

You'd think that a blog dedicated to underwear, the male form, and everything it wears would avoid a subject like "going commando."  We'll, I'm not!  I'm grabbing this topic by the balls (so to speak).

All kidding aside, I won't lie and say I've never gone commando.  Every guy has.  Although usually not of necessity (and there are times, admittedly, when circumstance leaves us no choice), going commando has enjoyed its own popularity and become a reasonable "go to" for most guys.

I don't go commando, by choice, for several reasons.  First, there's the whole "I'm an underwear whore" thing.  Next, if I do go commando - say, on a special bar night, or because God forbid, I'm out of clean undershorts - I always feel uncomfortable because I'm used to having that underwear barrier in my pants.  Third is the physical consequence of chafing.  Doesn't matter how careful I am, I always end up sore, and if I want to have the feeling of scraping my scrotum with sandpaper, I'll just buy the sandpaper.  Lastly, despite my best efforts, you can always tell that I'm commando.  I've never been able to figure out how to wear my jeans so that people can't tell.  That's part of the mystery, it's part of the fun - getting in the back room with a guy, unzipping and pow!

The only time I definitely go commando with no hesitation is when I wear my kilt.  That's right, I own an honest-to-goodness true Highlander's kilt, and let me tell you: when you're wearing wool on a hot summer day and you get a nice breeze flitting up there to cool your privates - it's f***ing awesome.  I always have to do a double-take when I sit down, though.  Don't want to scare the kiddies or get arrested.

Jon Hamm of Mad Men is famous for his preference of commando, and I say good for him.  It doesn't hurt that he's nice to look at, certainly; but I would say for him that going commando is just a bonus.  I used to laugh heartily at the antics of Matt LeBlanc (Joey on Friends) since his decision not to wear underwear would always make itself known at the most inopportune of times (such as when he and Ross were hanging on for dear life from a fire escape).

Men should be used to going commando, since I'm sure cavemen didn't haggle in the cave with their wives - "What do you think, Urga?  Calvin Kleins or Aussie Bums today?"  But I don't think a lot of guys really look at this as a viable option.  For many of the same reasons I've already explained, most straight men aren't comfortable with discussing their genital-coverings-choice, and although most guys will admit to having done it, I don't think they'll volunteer it on the spot.

And besides, if everyone went commando, it would destroy the male undergarment industry.  I think it's safe to say, "Go commando if necessary, but don't make it a habit."  Next thing will be, "Well, if I don't have to wear underwear, I don't have to wear pants," which will lead to an increase in the indecent exposure arrest rate, and which will, in turn, lead to an increase in repeat offending.

Jail is one place you want underwear.  And pants.