"Bedrooms and Hallways"

One “must-have” for the film shelf is a 1988 comedy-drama called Bedrooms & Hallways.  For anyone who likes cut-up comedy, can appreciate British humor, and likes the goofball antics related to sexual tension, this is the movie for you.  It also poses some interesting questions on the “fluidity of sexuality,” as its characters try to identify with themselves and each other precisely who they love and why.

It also profiles actors who were on the verge making it big, so it’s nice to see them “before they were stars.”  Included in the cast are Kevin McKidd, best known to American audiences as Poseidon in Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief and Owen Hunt on Grey’s Anatomy; James Purefoy, who has battled zombies – and became one himself – in Resident Evil, and let it all (read: ALL) show in HBO’s miniseries Rome (which also co-starred McKidd); Hugo Weaving, “King Elrond of Rivendell”/“Agent Smith” of The Lord of the Rings/The Matrix trilogies; and Tom Hollander (Cutler Beckett) of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise.

The main gist of the movie revolves around Leo (McKidd), who is in the middle of an “it’s complicated” love triangle.  He’s joined a men’s group run by an oddball married couple (the hilarious Simon Callow and Harriet Walter) and has met Brendan (Purefoy).  He develops a crush, but Brendan is a “straight” man currently living with his ex-girlfriend Sally (Jennifer Ehle), who just happens to be Leo’s high-school sweetheart.  As part of a group exercise, Leo confesses his attraction to Brendan (making another group member jealous in the process) and tries to navigate the “Is he a friend who’s a boy or a boyfriend?” labyrinth after they hook up.

Meanwhile, Leo’s roommate Darren (Hollander) is busy with his own relationship problems – he’s dating real estate agent Jeremy (Weaving), who’s not into doing “couply” things but likes to have sex in the houses he’s selling.  Jeremy and Darren make quite a splash in the English real estate market, but a misadventure finds Darren handcuffed to a bed (his underwear having been cut off by Jeremy) when they’re surprised by the unexpected return of the homeowner: Sally.  Jeremy bolts, and Darren is forced to do a hilarious send-up of a mistaken “S & M-a-gram” in order to get out of the handcuffs and the house.

The film culminates at Leo’s surprise birthday party, where the figurative “bedroom doors” are thrown open and the cast’s principals have to re-examine which bedrooms they’re in.

Although the plot lines may seem cliché, it is a funny, original film, and it doesn’t hurt either that many of the male actors aren’t bad to look at.  There could be more underwear scenes, certainly, but “Not my Calvins!” will definitely become part of your daily vocabulary, as will “I got a wank,” and “I’m so glad I’m a (wo)man.  Not because of you … but because of me.”

The saddest part is that a perfectly good pair of Calvin Kleins had to give their life for the movie, but Tom Hollander makes it look so easy to be handcuffed to a bed, doesn’t he?