The State of the Union (Suit)

Time for me to come clean, guys.  Because I love watching historical dramas and period pieces (I believe I’ve mentioned that before), my first recollection of machismo was one of the most handsome actors from television’s golden era – Michael Landon of Bonanza and Little House on the Prairie.

Yes, I know.  Pa Ingalls?  Little Joe Cartwright?  I Was a Teenage Werewolf?  Seriously?

Yeah.  Most guys would go with James Dean.  I was never quite sure if the attraction was to the characters he played or how he portrayed them, the particular point in history, the physical build his roles required, or the ideals they were supposed to represent.  I was only dimly aware it was family television, and too young to fully realize why it mattered or why I was so fascinated.

Of all his characters, I identified with Little Joe Cartwright the most.  Since I am the younger son of a younger son, it was easy for me to identify with the whole youngest-sibling-scenario.  Seems to me Little Joe was always cutting up, picking a fight, butting heads with Pa, Adam, and Hoss – “having an issue,” using today’s buzzwords – and then, all of a sudden, Little Joe grew up.  He morphed into super-buff frontier father Charles Ingalls, wearing a shirt open to the mid-chest, constantly working at the saw mill, and steering his family through the crisis-of-the-week with the assistance of the town’s preacher or doctor.  Both of these characters were stock of the American pioneer spirit of the late 1800s, so it’s not surprising that so many plot lines were cliché.

The reason I mention the American West is because back then, men wore a type of underwear called a “union suit,” similar if not identical to what we would identify as long johns today, except it was one piece that you stepped into and buttoned up the front.  In film and television, the viewer always got just a hint of it, which seems appropriate given the era and people weren’t as forthcoming back then as they are now.  Now, let’s fast forward 120+ years: seems to me that every time I’m flipping through my 800 channels to find something to watch, I happen upon an episode of either series and there’s Michael Landon (or, to be fair, some other up-and-comer with the same square jaw, long hair, and pioneer wagon) in the old swimming hole.  He may not necessarily be alone, and he’s wearing a clingy, sheer, and form-fitting union suit, which would be accentuating muscles and chest hair.

I like it.  Brings to mind that sometimes, the old ways are best.

Although honestly not my first choice, I would wear a union suit because in my view, a guy doesn’t necessarily need to have the 5%-body-fat physique in order to be Landon-esque enough to carry it off.  Its origins may be from a bygone era and it might be a little cumbersome, but what it represents is classic and timeless: be healthy in mind and body, courtesy of hard work and righteous living (and be built like a brick s*** house).  Hollywood certainly made it impress the various loves of Little Joe’s life, before they died tragically by malady, accidental shooting or mine accident; and Caroline Ingalls didn’t seem to be complaining either, so there must have been something with the whole arrangement that was a draw. 

So, there you have it, the state of the union (suit) – find yourself an International Male catalog or hop on the Internet and see about ordering one.  You won’t get the full effect until you and your significant have visited the local swimming hole for a dip, but it’s worth a try, as are all things underwear-related, no?