When “David” = Perfection

There is something about the name “David” which brings to mind age-old standards of perfection.  “David” is of Hebrew origin and means “darling” and “beloved,” and it’s easy to automatically think back to the ancient story of David and Goliath, where young battle novice David takes on Goliath, champion of the Philistines, in the Valley of Elah.  Everybody knows how that story ends – the little guy wins and becomes the “darling” and “beloved” of many for years to come, setting the stage for hundreds of battles between supermen and underdogs.

If we think of the form of David, then instead of heading right for the Bible, we think of Michelangelo, who sculpted the famous statue between 1501 and 1504.  It’s one of the most recognizable pieces of art in the world today.  And there’s a lot to think about with this David, how he compares to the other Davids of today.  There’s a mythology of the statue that I learned about after I visited Italy, the kind of stuff which becomes fascinating over time.  Kind of makes you wonder if people choose the name because of the story; because their David is going to be their “darling;” or if they’re hoping he’ll become the picture of perfection like the statue?

Michelangelo’s David is relaxed; unlike many other renditions, which depict him with the head of Goliath between his feet.  David appears to be in deep thought – Michelangelo was probably trying to show him before the battle instead of after it.  Another interesting facet of the statue is the stance.  Because of the way Michelangelo has posed him, with one leg bearing all of the weight, it gives the statue a curve not usually seen with male figures.  It allows the shoulders and the hips to rest at contrasting angles and gives the observer a better perspective of a true human, male form.  Since the statue was actually started by Agostino di Duccio and Antonio Rossellino, the idea behind the work changed in between inception and when Michelangelo was given the block of marble to work on.

The original positioning of the sculpture was for the roof of the Florence Cathedral, which is the main reason the head and the hands of the statue seem out of scale with the rest of the figure (the important parts of the sculpture were accentuated since they would be viewed from below and were supposed to be recognizable).  There is also the contrast of the figure’s size in comparison to its height.  Art historians have noted that David is extremely slender; while it can be argued the true height of the statue (17 feet) doesn’t render the rest of the body to scale, the proportions are still notable (and some argue, are what Michelangelo could salvage out of the work of his predecessors).

And, perhaps most interesting is, in fact, David’s junk.  Since the original David was a Jew, it would have been proper for the statue to display him as circumcised.  This wasn’t done, the purists argue, because Renaissance art didn’t note such inconsistency.

Whatever the case may be, Michelangelo’s David has set the bar high for other Davids to follow.  I’ve dated Davids, and lived with them; I’ve gone out to eat with them; and I’ve studied lots of photographs of famous Davids in their skivvies.  There are a lot of good-looking, chiseled Davids out there, but which one is closest to Michelangelo’s masterpiece?  While many replicas of Michelangelo’s masterpiece have popped up over the world, that one perfect David is out there for all of us, waiting to be seen and admired!

Below is the real David in addition to some other famous Davids I don’t mind staring at. How well do you know your famous Davids?  (You’ve got Beckham, Bentley, Boudia, Chokachi, Durante, Fumero, and Ginola here.  Know which ones are which?) 

P.S.: Just for fun, I downloaded a “version list” of “David”s so the international traveler can appreciate the numerous variations of the name.  You might want to squirrel this away for safekeeping, as it’s one of those things that just might come in handy some day.  If the language isn’t listed, then the likely spelling or transliteration is “David,” just as it would be in English, without diacritics.  Languages not using the Latin alphabet aren’t included.

Afrikaans, Polish, Syriac: Dawid	Icelandic: Davið
Albanian: Davidi	Indonesian: Daud
Amharic, Ge’ez: Dawit	Irish: Dáidhídh
Arabic: Dawood	Latin: Davidis
Armenian: Davit	Latvian: Dāvids
Bosnian, Persian, Turkish: Davud	Lithuanian: Davidas
Cornish: Daveth	Manx: Davy
Estonian: Taavet	Māori: Rāwiri
Finnish: Daavid	Mi’kmaq: Dabit
Galician, Italian: Davide	Swahili: Daudi
Hawaiian: Kawika	Welsh: Dafydd
Hungarian, Slovak: Dávid	Yiddish: Dovid

And a P.P.S.: Rusty Joiner (Underwear Profile #3) has joined The Haves and the Have Nots actor Aaron O’Connell in pitching Liquid Plumr.  O’Connell’s commercial featured him and another beefcake knocking on a woman’s door with the lines, “I’m here to snake your drain,” and “I’m here to flush your pipe.”  The new commercial shows a woman in a hardware store, and in a fantasy sequence she sees Rusty, who’s there to clear her drain.  “I only have ten minutes,” she says, to which he responds, “I’ll only need seven.”  (Sounds like most guys, doesn’t it?)  The commercial then flashes back to the hardware store, where Rusty is drilling a hole with a bit semi-suggestively, with that mischievous grin of his.  He’s a natural.  Makes me want to rush out and buy some Liquid Plumr right now.